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Avast! Celebrate the International Talk Like a Pirate
Day and learn to talk like one! (It was actually on September 19th but you
can celebrate the whole month) Growl - and scowl often. Pirates don't use a cultured,
elegant, smooth vocalization - they mutter and growl. Use pirate lingo. Sounding like a
pirate isn't as hard as it seems! There are lots of resources for
picking up pirate "lingo," so make use of them (some common terms listed
below) in addition to trying to affect a vocal sound. Avoid using modern
epithets (swear words). It's much more colorful (and kid-friendly) to
use "pirate slang" for those naughty words. Gesture with your hands frequently. Don't forget that pirates
do most of their talking on the deck of a ship - out on the ocean, where
wind, waves, and bird calls make it tough to hear. Gesturing often gives
you a sense of "being there." Run words together. Saying, "The boys and I were out for a
lovely day on the water today" sounds like something you'd overhear at a
yacht club, not out on the bounding main! Instead, try, "Me'n'these here
scurvy scallywags drug our sorry keesters out t'th'ship'n'had us a grand
great adventuaaarrr! We almost had t'keelhaul Mad Connie f'r gettin
inter th' grog behind our backs!" Use contractions whenever possible. Be
sure to punctuate often with "Arrrr!" Embellish at will. A pirate is larger than life, and his or
her speech should always reflect this. Don't just say, "We saw a whale
off the starboard bow today." Say, "Me'n'th' crew seen a great grand sea
beastie, th' mother of all whales, aye!" Refer to yourself as "me" at all times, never "I" It is not
piratically correct to say, "I have a cold." It is far better as a
pirate to declare, "Got me a case o'th'sniffles, 'ass rye!" More importantly, substitute "me" for "my" For example, don't
say, "Look at my new sword," say "Lookit me new sword!." Also substitute
"meself" for "myself" as in "Got meself a right fine ship!" Mutter unintelligibly unless yelling. Being a pirate usually
meant being liquored up to some degree - a lot of time, pirates were
pretty mush-mouthed. In the step preceding, the term "'ass rye" actually
translates to "that's right." Get it? Be as loud as humanly possible. Pirates are not shy violets -
stand tall, me hearties, and be counted! Procure one dead stuffed parrot and sew feet to right shoulder of
2nd hand store jacket. This will put you in the mood to adhere to
the above mentioned rules and guarantee an abundance of "yers and arghs". |
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